


Candiru

by CampionSayn



Category: Bleach
Genre: 686 can die in a fire, DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO WRITE PORN FOR THESE TWO?!, F/M, also Urahara is a MASSIVE enabler, friends to maybe-something-more?, is there a trope for this?, medically necessary blow jobs, porn and plot and feelings of humiliation, what is canon?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-03
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2019-01-08 12:14:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12254181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CampionSayn/pseuds/CampionSayn
Summary: In which there is an incident during the Thousand Year Blood War when Urahara's group were out in the Negal Ruins and Chad finds out that Grimmjow was in fact NOT lying about a certain kind of parasite.





	Candiru

Chad had, quite possibly, never been this embarrassed in his life. And yes, he would include the time his Abuelo took a beating for him in Mexico and Ichigo saved his ass from some gangbangers in junior high.

The blood from his trying to yank out the little parasite Hollow that had actually, he would not kid about this, swam up his stream of urine while relieving himself near the quartz trees along the outer walkways of the Negal Ruins, had dried a little, but was still uncomfortable as he had clutched at himself directly after it had happened and he had to drag Urahara to one of the inner chambers where he had hoped they'd have some privacy.

Sadly, this did not happen.

Grimmjow might nag and nag forever and ever about being a panther and not a house cat, but if his curiosity wasn't just as bad as one, Chad would eat a rock.

First thing the horrible blue haired man had done when he walked into the room and found Urahara holding up Chad's bleeding dick with a pair of scary looking tweezers in his other hand was laugh long and loud at the younger man, of course; which devolved into a rather childish repetition of "I told you so," which in turn, brought Orihime running.

Chad can't help but feel Grimmjow learned his lesson when he refused to stop laughing even after Orihime told him to and then the "human girl" that Grimmjow made a point to use as a source of amusement decided to head-butt him point blank.

The "holy shit" that tumbled out of Grimmjow's mouth when he regained consciousness was something Chad could almost sympathize with. He'd been on the receiving end of Orhime's head– _though that was an accident_ –once before and he learned his lesson.

Following more awkwardness that filled up the examination by the geta-boushi for exactly two hours of Orihime glaring daggers at Grimmjow like she'd never glared at anyone, short of that one Hollow who attacked Tatsuki and Chizuru, Urahara had come to the conclusion that, stunningly enough, Grimmjow was dead right about the little Hollow that had taken up residence in Chad's urethra. Which, Chad assumed, was probably what he got for not listening to someone who had been living in this white desert longer than Chad had been alive when they told him not to "take a piss near the quartz trees" no matter how polite he wanted to be in avoiding Orihime's line of sight.

Grimmjow had preened readily at this statement, until Urahara addressed him in asking how they should get the little thing out. It wasn't like the blonde was carrying anesthesia and even then, trying to operate in the desert wasn't the best idea in the world, "I'm assuming this little creature is feeding off of Sado-san's blood, so what might cause it to release?"

"Semen," Grimmjow answered readily and easily, giving Chad a little wink.

Orihime did not appreciate that wink and moved in front of Chad to offer him some cover, her arms spread out and causing her tunic cloak to act like one of the awnings along Karakura's main street in the shopping district after every shop had closed up.

It was rather adorable to Kisuke, really, but he had to continue, "Not urine? I would have assumed it would have enjoyed the calorie intake. Shall we just leave Sado-san here with his own thoughts and hand, then?"

"Ah-haaaa,  _no_. That would be too easy, now would't it?"

Orihime's frown deepened at his tone, but she didn't say anything.

"What do you mean?" Urahara questioned with all the curiosity of any scientist that had yet to be let in on a secret that was fascinating, horrifying and hilarious in and of itself.

The lecherous, callous smile remained as Grimmjow settled his stance to move no further and crossed his arms, "Those little fuckers don't just need its host to cum to remove itself from the dick, there has to be  _suction_. Just moving it around while jerking off will just make it enjoy the ride and try to wiggle around to make some new holes for blood."

His smile receded a little at what must have been a memory of his own unfortunate incident.

"Or it'll slide down further to get at your piss."

And if that weren't the most horrible thing Chad had ever heard of in concern for his health  _ever_ …

Orihime seemed to agree with his mental horror, her shoulders dropping to give herself a more bunched up look; similar to a cat flinching at the sight of a well known object of irritation, like a water bottle.

Urahara just hummed, glancing over at Chad and not making him feel one bit better with the silence and those shadows perpetually caused by his hat swallowing up his eyes.

The little parasite Hollow that had taken residence in Chad's most sensitive appendage chose that exact moment of discomfort to make itself known again. It felt a little like two more spines were erecting inside his urethra and he choked back an agonized groan, bending further so his head was closer to his knees and trying to cover up the growing blood stain along his crotch.

"So!" Urahara stood up, walking straight over to Grimmjow and yanking the Arrancar outside of their temporary shelter among the Ruins, "Grimmjow-san and I will just leave Sado-san in your capable hands, Inoue-san!"

Orihime blinked at the retreating figures and Chad managed to look up with all the blood draining from his face, "Wait, Urahara-san! I can't let–she's my–this is really–!"

The geta-boushi even had the amusement still lacing his words as he called back one last thing, "It's a medical procedure, Sado-san; no need to think of it as anything else. I've left a waste container and tweezers for when she's finished. They're right next to your cloak. Good luck~"

* * *

And thus, Chad found himself with Orihime gently talking him into stepping out of his pants so she could "manually" extract the parasite.

She even promised to remove the blood from the crotchline of his pants and underwear later after he folded them neatly and set them to the side in an effort to breathe in and out and buy himself time to not go into a panic attack at the idea that he was about to undergo a  _blowjob_  as an actual  ** _medical procedure._**

And try not to hate himself.

Or think about the idea of Inoue in between his legs was already making him stiffen up; prick half-hard already because of the parasite restricting blood-flow and his thoughts just helping it along.

Slowly, slowly, he turned so that he could resume his seated position and, wearily, looked over at Inoue.

Who was giving him a sympathetic look was was entirely too much so, given that it would seem reasonable that she should feel more awkward than he.

"Did you know I have a pet wasp spider back home?"

"...what?"

She moved over very much like what she was doing was similar to a nurse at Ishida's father's hospital taking a seat across from a patient who needed a Tetanus shot or something, continuing on with her statement as though he hadn't answered back.

Her hands gently traced over the lining of his heavy balls, and around to the top where his pubic hair curled thickly and trailed up to his belly button; nails causing goosebumps on the inside of his thighs and practically all of his midsection as she continued on.

"Well, technically, I don't know what breed or species it is, but it took over an old hornet nest that used to give me trouble right outside the front door, so I just call it a wasp spider. And it's going to have babies soon, too!"

"Um..." he bit the inside of his lips, eyes completely focused on her face now, even as her hands began messaging the base of his cock and tracing along the edges of his uncut head, probably trying to locate the parasite as well as smear his precum around and relax him a bit more.

Being confused was probably helping him relax a lot faster than he otherwise would have in such a situation.

Had he the state of mind to compliment her on this idea, he certainly would have.

As it was, he just nodded or shook his head at her questions about wild animals being pets and the like as needed.

Also, he focused on not letting himself give in  _too_  much when she did locate the parasite and began pulling up and down so that it was finally loosening it's hold on the inside of his pisshole; its spines pulling out slowly, almost in time with Orihime pulling his glands down from the head and giving the tip a little kiss.

"You're such a pretty color, Sado-kun."

He hadn't quite realized he'd closed his eyes until he had to open them; the little parasite had finally eased up all the spines and relief had washed in at the compliment she extended.

"I'm...um...what?" he breathed, heavy and warm as she very gently pressed her hands to his knees so she could steady herself as she got into a more comfortable position, butt to the ground and knees on either side of her so they weren't digging into the rock floor and bruising.

He probably should have offered his tunic for her to sit on. The floor was cold...

And then his thoughts blanked out again as she licked him once, twice, three times, before earnestly enveloping the head of his cock and began sucking on it.

...At least she hadn't tried to swallow without slow build. Ichigo had tried that the first time, choked halfway and almost vomited the first time they'd done anything more than jerk each other off.

This entirely absent thought was interrupted when Orihime had to remove her mouth and leaned a little backwards and to the side to spit.

Spit  _blood_.

"Darn, I probably should have thought of that," she sighed, still working his base with smooth fingers and very comfortable tugs that maintained his arousal even after he saw his own body fluid land on the ground, "You're still in much pain, are you, Sado-kun?"

"Pain? No, you're, ah, doing well," he answered as succinctly as he could, though he was slurring a little, panting as well, "I think it's pulled out all the spines."

She smiled up at him, "That's good then. Maybe it's just some of the residue from earlier. I'm gonna try and go a little deeper and suck a little harder now, okay?"

"Don't force yourself too quickly."

_'...Too quickly?'_  He actually felt himself die a little more inside.

"It's okay," she continued smiling, not at all taking offense at his phrasing, "It's not too different from when I eat my pineapple and worm salt popsicles in summer back home."

Suddenly why she wasn't at all deterred by his size made a  _considerable_  amount of sense. He had seen those homemade snacks of hers and seen her consume them immediately, despite the brain freeze that always followed and the fact that each was easily twice his length and girth.

"...If you say so," was his wise answer.

True to her word, she managed to take in a considerable length more, her tongue winding around and around the underside of his considerable girth, playing around his tip and spreading his precum along the thicker veins that pulsed and throbbed as one of her hands started gently tugging on his balls; first one and then the other. His dick twitched along with the tugging, and he had to take in a deep, shuddering breath when he felt his tip meet with her uvula and slide against the back of her throat when she pumped directly against the parasite, hard and fast.

Chad would have really liked to weave his fingers through her hair, move stray locks and strands away from her face so he could see her perfectly, but even though he was building quickly and his gasps were following each other faster, he kept both hands at his sides to anchor him. He made fists and had to lean back when she took a rather embarrassing moan as an opportunity to slip a finger in his ass and start searching for that sensitive gland Chad was fully aware of from his previous fooling around sessions; though he could probably bet money that Orihime only knew about it because their teacher in health class was  _NOT_  Ochi-sensei and was very New Age about explaining it.

He sucked in a breath that sounded like hissing, having to lean back and bite on his knuckles when Orihime did in fact find his prostate, having no form and no reason to think it would be a problem to immediately start pressing on it like it was the keypad on a cellphone. And, if that wasn't enough, she was kneading his base over and over, focusing on the thickest part and tightening as she thought it was needed when he groaned much louder and mentally kicked himself when he thrust up like...well, like the horny teenager he suppressed most of the time they were involved with Shinigami and most of the rest of their lives, really.

When she pulled almost all the way off, paused to wind her tongue through precum, trail her hot spit along his glands and actually nibble on the tip while thundering heavily three fingers in his ass while continually hitting his prostate  _(when one became more, he wasn't sure and he didn't care because damn if that wasn't hot as hell and Ichigo could have taken pointers in finesse on the subject)_  only to smile while making direct eye contact... He lost it.

She even had her mouth open in a perfect 'O' and her tongue laid out pressed under his head. The only way should could have made him cum more quickly was if he'd been allowed to touch her breasts: he's not ashamed to say that would have shaved minutes off of this favor she was doing him.

_"F-Fuck!"_

He's not really all that sure how he managed to muster up enough breath to even drop any kind of  _noise_ , never mind curse as he shot directly into her mouth, enjoying the view despite himself as drops of white decorated her lips and then ran along the flat of her tongue, his eyes closing as the warmth washed over him and he started to become jelly, knees quaking and tense muscles easing up from earlier.

...And  _then_  came the  _staggering **pain**_  that, in the aftermath of the delightful euphoria, he was unable to mentally prepare himself for.

If he hadn't had his guard down from the high, he would have been able to convince his jaw to snap shut to block his scream that echoed like a rabbit snatched up by an over-eager raptor within the walls of a canyon.

He could only just hear Orihime apologizing frequently, "Sorry, sorry, sorry," even with the first drops of his cum still decorating a trail down her bottom lip, one hand trying to be gentle and hold his steadily softening prick vertical as her other hand with the sturdy tweezers yanked up the body of the little monster so she could put it in the adjacent jar. It's wiggling head kept turning clockwise, being half the size of an M&M candy piece, and it's tiny legs and spines that had caused the bleeding trying to grip something to get back into what it considered a precious safe place.

But the pain radiated from what could be called its tail: something Chad didn't get to see when it entered, now became highly visible as what appeared to be a segment of black bulbs twice the size of its head were removed, getting bigger and more solid and a little sharper as Orihime yanked it up, up, up.

Once he got his breathing back under as much control as he was able, he planted his feet and bared down to hold perfectly still, gritting his teeth as what felt like the last bulb came loose, bringing with it double barbs that nicked the rim of his slit, cutting deep grooves in the side and causing more garish bleeding before Orihime took it and shoved it forcefully into the jar, lid twisting on with a snap he was able to register before he dropped back to lie down and take deep gulps of air, eyes scrunched tight and hands covering them so he wouldn't try and staunch the bleeding when he knew it was a bad idea.

It hurt, much like it did before, but only seeming more visceral since all the hormones that had blocked off the pain with pleasure were stripped away and he felt impossibly more raw and vulnerable than when he'd had Urahara take a look with Grimmjow being his intolerable self making Chad feel like a stupid kid.

He jolted, tensed up and grit his teeth as he felt Orihime's fingers return to his dick, the pads of her digits even more gentle and careful as they held him up and examined the still bleeding head, "Oh, Sado-kun, I'm so sorry. I can heal this though, just relax."

"Mm," he hummed, allowing her to do whatever and feeling the beginnings of tingling as she called forth her fairies, and let them begin closing up the open cuts both inside and outside his slit, "Thank you."

She still held him in very warm hands and her voice was the kind and pleasant way it always was when she replied back, his eyes finally opening again to peer down at her smiling at his face, "It's okay, no harm done; I'm happy to help in any way I can."

...He squinted and, though later he would blame this on the mental fog of being exhausted after experiencing every possible kind of embarrassment as sited in the dictionary, said the glaringly obvious thing that had been standing in the room like the biggest and pinkest elephant ever.

"Orihime, you just performed oral sex on me."

"Yes?"

"You didn't even hesitate."

"Nope."

"Shouldn't you be freaking out a little? I would be freaking out in your position if I had to...well...for anyone," He trailed along the end, rising on his elbows as Shunou and Ayame returned to her hair pieces and it finally hit him that she was still holding his dick in her hands.

_He was getting hard again;_  what the hell.

"You're my friend, so you're not just anyone," she shrugged, innocently and without any kind of shame decorating her form as she played with the appendage slowly growing back to its full size, thumbs both going to where the parasite had been, critically looking over the bulging flesh and then looking back at him with a wide smile  _(not very different from when she delivered him spare bread from her bakery job because she wanted him to eat more to stay healthy; not very different from when she wandered out into rainstorms and just let herself be drenched despite scolding from Tatsuki; not very different from when she would call him up when he was working a late shift to tell him a joke she thought of off the top of her head so he would feel a little better and less exhausted)_  and continued, "And, well, I think you're wrong."

"Wrong?" His brain felt like a lump of gum on a hot sidewalk at this point and he couldn't stop looking at the drops of his cum she hadn't been able to wipe off while tending to him; perched just along the underside of her bottom lip and keeping his attention when he wasn't looking at her hands and what they were doing with the fresh onslaught of precum dripping from him.

"I don't think you'd freak out in this situation if you had to help out Kurosaki-kun, like, at all. I think you'd be pretty steady and reasonable if you had to help Ishida-kun. Abarai-san, well, that would be a bit more awkward, but I can't see you freaking out with him; or even Rukia-chan, for that matter."

She'd moved her fingers all along his foreskin before pulling it down and out of the way, but gently, one finger probing his slit and pressing very gently along where the injury from the barbs had previously been.

Her face had gotten so close to the head that he could feel her breath as she eyed him critically, though she didn't put her mouth on it, pulling back.

"Tell me if you feel any pain, even if it hits with your orgasm, okay?"

Chad didn't even get to ask why as she proceeded to slather her dominant hand in his precum, added a little bit of her own spit and then started jerking and twisting him.

It was very different from earlier; still focused and careful not to cause him undue pain or discomfort, but he couldn't stop the borderline humiliating noises that left him in a flurry as she worked him harder, faster, with the precision that could almost be called professional and such lewd wet sounds intensifying the experience.

If he could have counted his breaths and measure his heart-rate in his head like some genius or even taken an especially practical guess, he'd say that it took maybe forty seconds for him to cum this time around. Not as long as he would have liked, not with her trying to make the moment as sensual as possible to put him at ease like when he was being used as a carrier for the thing still wriggling around in the jar near them, but he still came.

She caught his cum in her other hand, preventing it from splashing her face and nowhere near her mouth and letting it pool in her palm; and for the life of him, Chad didn't understand why that made him feel...not sad, exactly, but it made the high dim a little.

Or maybe it was that he was just tired the way most guys his age got after having more than one round in an hour; tiredness setting in and the tug of sleep rushing him in earnest so he had to blink a could times to refocus on Orihime.

Still, her warm smile returned after she took a moment to look over the runoff, flicking her hand to try and splash it over towards the small damp spot that had been her spit and his blood from earlier before taking the bottom half of her tunic and wiping him clean, "No blood, no black residue from the parasite, no left over spines, that's good. And no pain?"

His little shake of his head was all he could manage along with his heavy panting and boneless state of being, somehow making her smile more as she got up, undid her tunic properly and set it over him like a blanket, tucking it in along his sides so he didn't feel a draft, and then lightly patting his shoulder so she was sure he was paying attention, eyes at least partially open, "That's good, Sado-kun. That's very good. I'm just going to let you take a moment for yourself and go give Urahara-san this gross little thing, okay? I'll be back in a few minutes with a snack and to clean those stains on your clothes. Rest now."

* * *

Chad woke up hours later, eyes blinking in the semi-dark of the room to find that the sleeping bags and other materials they had been using in one of the other rooms in the Negal Ruins for sleeping quarters had been moved in with him in his unconscious state.

His sleeping mat had been placed under him so he wasn't dreadfully uncomfortable, pillow placed under his head and blankets on top of the tunic Orihime had left him covered with.

Absently, he realized his pants and underwear had been placed on a different surface, and though he had to squint, he could see the blood stains had been removed as promised...

Then his sights fell on Orihime tangled up in her own blanket and such, about half an arm's reach away. She'd changed into her usual sleeping clothes which meant that it was the period they all had agreed on as "night" when they started working properly and acclimating to the condition of perpetual night in Hueco Mundo. Orihime had brought a little pocket watch when they'd entered the realm, a drab little thing she'd gotten from a thrift shop, because she hated not knowing what time it was and didn't want to have flashbacks to her time in previous captivity; so they'd used it as a reminder that time was present and they weren't to forget it.

The watch sat a few feet away between the two of them, a little protected by the presence of their shoes boxing it in, the tiny thing promising to play a little piece of Mozart when the hour struck seven in the morning back in the human world.

_'Is there a particular way to feel about this?'_  Was the first thought that crossed through his hazy mind, recalling in particular detail every single thing from hours ago and without much restraint drawing his eyes to her lips.

The bottom one was clean again, no trace of his...fluid...left behind.

He cringed at the unfortunate feeling of disappointment that came with the noticing, shoulders drawing up to his shoulders despite nobody awake enough to notice the blush creeping to his cheeks and ears.

_'Calm down,_ ' he repeated relentlessly in his mental cycles, looking back over her and finding that despite the events, she wasn't giving off any discomfort being close to him as she usually was in sleep.

Case in point: while he was still muddling through his thoughts and trying to keep his breathing in control and not have a flashback to warm lips and slicked hands; Orihime had moved about in her sleep. She'd tossed and turned, instinct reminding her that there was a warm body nearby and causing her to bypass the inches of floor, bring her blanket with her and curl up into his side like an especially friendly and over-sized house cat. She'd even huffed something about Panda bears and treacle before settling so her head was tucked into the crook of his arm...

He would decidedly  _not_  think about how this happened a lot and she practically belonged there in their hours of sleep.

Chad would, however, maneuver each of their blankets so they were stacked practically to keep them both covered and warm and out of the reach of the desert's occasional breezes. Then he decided to forgo any kind of humiliating blushes until later and cross whatever awkward bridges that might have been built from earlier if they should come to it.

Still...

Lifting his eyelids from where they'd settled in his making up his mind, he looked down on the completely trusting face of his friend, mouth slightly open and cheeks flushed from the blankets and Chad's own heat diminishing her goosebumps from moving over and her hair a little frizzied in the back from earlier tossing and turning.

He heaved a heavy breath, some of her loose hairs blowing with it, and bent to give her a soft and respectful peck on the top of the head.

"Gracias,  _hermosa_... See you in the morning."

**Author's Note:**

> I have recognized that there is NOT ENOUGH Chadhime on the internet and am attempting to change that situation in small increments of flash fiction and...stuff. And also buying good art on tumblr, because what else am I to spend my disposable income on?
> 
> That being said...this was really just the worst thing I've tried writing in a while. Both Inoue and Chad are too good for anyone and writing porn with them was like experiencing sitting in a stall and having mud thrown on me after every paragraph. Does anyone else feel like this?


End file.
